Looking over my old posts It seems I have had some heart-ache over her before, which is true, I had just forgotten about it.

The last couple of months had been really good. I thought I had gotten to a point where I was good. I could live with the fact that she liked me, but she didnt like me that much. I even thought I could live with the fact that she were hanging out with a lot of other guys.

Not so.

I really should break of relations completely and give myself some time to get my mind straight. I know I should. It’s just, she is the only one who can make me really happy. I mean, happy all the way through and not just the 5 minutes of ramdom laughter. Unfortunately she is also the cause of almost all my grief. The question remains if the tradeoff is worth it and if not, can I find some way of making my own happiness…

I really feel like I shouldn’t write this stuff here, but unfortunately, she was also my best friend and the one I would talk to about stuff like this… You see my dilemma. There is also so much more to it than that, that I ought to and want to write about. This will have to do for now, though, as there is a difference between getting out the worst of it and spilling every gut-wrenching little thought that is racing through my mind. People i know might read this.
I wonder what would be worst. Them reading this and telling me or them reading this and not telling me.